stop doing it.

the other night, i was hanging out with some friends and i got chatting with this girl abbie, who i know but don't know well. we were having a conversation i expected to be some variation of this one, but she said something that changed the course of our conversation. something i haven't stopped thinking about since she said it.

after i told her what i did for work, she asked me if i like it, which is a relatively common question. i gave my common answer: no, not really. but before i could launch into my mini speech about wanting to live in nashville, she looked up at me and said, "then stop doing it."

it wasn't a suggestion. it wasn't a question. it was a statement. almost like a command. it was bold and it completely caught me off guard. one, because i have had that conversation countless times with a number of different people and never once has anyone ever responded to me saying i didn't like my job by telling me to stop doing it. and two, because she's totally right.

i grew up being unsure of what kind of career i wanted, but the one thing i was sure of was that, whatever my job ended up being, i was going to love it. i was determined not to be one of those people who gets up every morning and goes to a job they hate. somehow, i turned into one of them and i have justified it by saying that my job has the best pay, the best hours, the best benefits, and the best boss for my current situation. and this girl, who i have seen only a handful of times in my life, completely shattered my logic by pointing out the one thing that matters.

if you don't like what you're doing, then stop doing it.

fortunately, i have reached the point where i will (most likely) be able to stop in a few short months. but i decided that even if my tentative plans to move do not work out, i'm still going to quit. because i cannot keep doing what i'm doing. it's tiring. it's draining. it's wearing me down.

so i'm going to stop doing it.