God knows exactly what He's doing.

A couple weeks ago, I was in the middle of a private session at my pilates studio when the instructor had me do this particular arm exercise and gave me a rep count that I didn’t think I could physically do.

About halfway through, I asked, “How many am I doing?”

It’s not that I forgot the number. I just wanted her to know that her number felt a little excessive. But she didn’t change her mind. She repeated the same number and reminded me to breathe through the movements.

Here’s the thing about a private session. It’s not like a group class, where the instructor calls out a suggested rep count and the class carries on whether you hit that number or not. In a private session, the rep count is not a suggestion and the instructor is there, looking at only you, waiting for you to keep going.

So that’s what I did. Rather than telling her I didn’t think I could do it, I just kept moving my arms. That’s what I thought to myself: Just keep moving your arms, Sarah. Forget what it feels like and just keep moving. Let’s just see what happens.

In that moment, I thought about how faith feels exactly like that sometimes. When the thing I’m believing for is taking longer than I thought it would, or it doesn’t look like anything is happening at all, or the resistance is more intense than I expected. It doesn’t feel great or exciting or even like I have what it takes, but I keep going anyway. I keep pushing myself through the motions just to see what happens.

When I hit the rep count during my session, I couldn’t help but think about how my instructor totally knows what she’s doing. She chooses more challenging weight options and higher rep counts than I would pick because she knows more than I do about what’s enough to make me stronger but not too much that I get hurt.

And isn’t that just like God?

He knows exactly how much is enough to make me stronger, even if I think it’s too much. Even if I think it’ll break me. Every time I don’t think I have what it takes to keep going but I do it anyway, I hit a new level of breakthrough. A new level of faith or freedom or grace that I didn’t know existed.

He knows exactly what He’s doing. I just have to believe that He does.

Sometimes believing my pilates instructor knows what she’s doing feels a lot easier than believing that God knows what He’s doing because I can see her there. I know she’s watching. Even if she’s not saying anything, I know she’ll stop me and correct me if I do something wrong. She’s paying attention.

I forget that when I can’t see or hear God, it doesn’t mean He’s not with me. It might just mean He’s already told me what to do and there isn’t anything more to say. But He’s watching, waiting for me to keep going.

Maybe faith feels hard today. Maybe God seems silent. But He’s still with you. This isn’t a group class – His eyes are on only you. He’s paying attention. And He knows exactly what He’s doing. Believe that He does, and keep going.

The power of God is in you, even on a Thursday.